


funeral (for a friend)

by galactichan



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Character Death, Gen, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, idk who hasn't seen it but just in case, not stony they're just friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 14:53:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20137273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galactichan/pseuds/galactichan
Summary: Steve stood among everyone, tired and weary, listening to the sound of flames crackling debris. He stood among everyone watching Tony die.Tony Stark's death, told from the perspective of Steve Rogers.





	funeral (for a friend)

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first avengers fic, i hope it's good! thank you for reading, enjoy :)

Steve stood among everyone, tired and weary, listening to the sound of flames crackling debris. He stood among everyone watching Tony die. 

Tony Stark laid on a pile of rubble; bloody, beaten, and broken. The corners of his vision were darkening; he could hardly focus on the people directly in front of him. Rhodey, Peter, Pepper. Oh god, Pepper. Tony muttered her name as she crouched down to him, just barely, and lolled his head over to face her. To look at her. 

Pepper couldn’t help the tears welling in her eyes, desperately trying to spill over. She choked them down, suffocating them for the time being. She couldn’t cry in front of Tony. Not now. She whispered a few words to him, lifting up the corners of her mouth into a weary, trembling smile. 

She kept the facade until Tony’s head rolled back, and his eyes began to gloss over. She murmured out her last words to him, watching his chest sigh out his last breath.

The soft blue glow of the arc reactor flickered a few times before silently giving way to black underneath his and Pepper’s hands. 

Steve noticed Pepper only let herself break once she knew he was gone. Her face contorted, her chest trying to compress the violent sobs that ripped through her. She pressed her lips to his cheek, closing her eyes and allowing a few quiet tears to run down her face. Her forehead fell forward into Tony’s shoulder, her body hunching. 

Behind Steve, Clint slowly lowered to his knees. He set the bow to the ground, his eyes lingering on Tony for a moment, bringing his hand up to hide his face in. His head sunk. The weight of Natasha was bad enough, and this would only add to his grief. All he could do in that moment was kneel. 

In front of Clint, T’Challa glanced behind him and, upon seeing him, followed suit, descending down and holding his arm on one knee.

Tony Stark’s death was enough to bring a king to his knees.

After T’Challa, Carol lowered, and then gradually, one by one, all of their teammates were down, kneeling, in union. 

Steve was no exception, but for him, it felt like he was falling. Felt like the wind was knocked out of him, like his whole being was collapsing on top of this new weight. All of his strength was drained from him in that instant, and he was left kneeling on cold gravel.

His eyes never wavered off of Tony. Steve didn’t want to look away, didn’t want to hang his head and let his tears face the ground. 

Steve was supposed to be the one who died.

This was never supposed to happen to Tony. This wasn’t supposed to be his end. If someone was going to die, it was supposed to be Steve. He was the one who was destined to do something like this. If the plane and the ice weren’t going to kill him all those years ago, something else was. 

Steve was the sacrifice. Tony was the protector. 

Tony had Pepper, and Morgan, and Peter, and Rhodey, and dozens of other people he was supposed to still be alive for, but he  _ wasn’t.  _ The world wasn’t supposed to mourn for Tony Stark. 

Although, Steve wouldn’t have died alone. He’d just gotten Bucky and Sam back, and, ashamedly, he felt a twinge of relief it  _ wasn’t  _ him. Felt relieved that he was still able to spend time with them; to talk, and laugh, and joke with them. He was able to live his life however he pleased after this, was able to celebrate their victory because they  _ won. _ They finally won. The world was back to normal. The Avengers did what their namesake implied: they avenged. Because of Tony Stark. 

And that made him feel all the more guilty that Tony took his place. Tony was supposed to do all of that with  _ his  _ family, and everyone else he cared about. Including Steve. 

Tony didn’t deserve to die. Not like this. 

Not by leaving everything behind just as they’d gotten it all back. Not before he got to see Morgan grow up. Not before he spent his life with Pepper. He wasn’t supposed to die.  _ Not like this.  _

Steve felt guilty about never having the chance to apologize to him, for everything. For the accords, for drifting apart, for being such a stubborn pain in the ass. For not being there for him. Not only as a teammate, but as a friend. 

He felt guilty for taking their friendship for granted, because now he’d never get it back.

Steve mentally berated himself for not doing more, for not being the one to reach out and want to make amends. They spent so long bickering over trivial things, picking fights with each other over nothing. They spent so much time not being on speaking terms, and now, now everything they ever argued about—from their teamwork when the Avengers were first called in to fight in New York, to the accords and their violent falling out—meant nothing compared to this. And Steve could do nothing to fix it. Couldn’t try to make things right. To start over. 

He felt guilty for not doing  _ more. _ Perhaps, if he did something different, or if he made a certain move in this battle, Tony would still be here. A part of Steve felt like it was partly his fault Tony was gone. 

He knew that wasn’t true, but he’d be damned if he didn’t blame himself, just a bit. 

Steve felt the most guilty about the fact that he never told Tony how much he meant to him. Steve never told him that he genuinely enjoyed their conversations, and that even their playful, argumentative banter was something he secretly looked forward to. That even after the Avengers won major battles and separated for a time, Steve missed talking to him. That even if they were fighting, or weren’t speaking, or absolutely  _ despised _ one another, Steve still considered Tony a friend. Even if Tony didn’t think the same of him. 

He never told Tony how much he truly appreciated him. 

Steve felt like he was on his knees for an eternity. None of his teammates had stood yet, and in the time since he’d fallen, many others were now kneeling as well. 

Truth be told, he wasn’t sure if he had the strength to stand up. He wasn’t sure if he even wanted to. And why would he? 

He’d just witnessed Earth lose its best defender. 

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr: @galactichan


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